Creating Community: Support for Transgender and LGBT Individuals

I am: creating a community

Have you ever felt like life’s writing your story before you get to pick up the pen, or in my case my phone? That is how I felt the last couple of months. Since my last post ages ago, so much has happened, and I’m excited to get caught up. I created this blog to act like a book, an in-depth reflection on my journey- and when I want to open the tab to my book I can turn back the pages to whatever chapter, so I can see how I found my happily ever after and remember how I got to where I am today, but also a place to encourage others to find their own happily ever after.

When I turn back to the chapter of “coming out” to my wife and daughter(s), I remember the fear I felt when I began this journey. I felt as though I was the underdog- yeah family and friends were there to give their support and love but something felt as though they never thought I or we truly would come out on top.

I used to fear explaining to my daughters that becoming my best self might cost me everything and I always stayed just the underdog. But I was ready to sacrifice for a brighter future. I made a wish—not to end up telling them about not getting ahead in the face of adversity, but rather about triumph and being the hero of our story when the odds were against you.

Jumping through the first half of that chapter from 2021 to now, I feel like I am the hero and no longer the underdog in this chapter. Wishing only got me halfway there; hard work carried me the rest of the way.

In the second half of that chapter I learned that most heroes are often the underdogs on a path of self-discovery. Their journey often includes realizing who they are meant to be by trusting and following their destiny that lies within them, that leads them on a journey to finding their happily ever after.

The journey began when I came out to the world as transgender and started accepting who I truly am. For the first time, I felt a sense of self-worth and began to appreciate the small things in life. It was something I had never experienced before. Along with this newfound acceptance came an awareness of the stigma faced by the LGBTQ+ community, something I had previously been shielded from.

Creating a blog was not something I had planned, but it gradually gained traction. When I posted my “I am a Girl Dad” blog and shared it on Instagram, it unexpectedly resonated with many, sending me into an algorithm that expanded my reach. The most significant impact came through private messages and comments from people who appreciated me sharing my journey and highlighting my family’s efforts to normalize our lives.

As my followers grew from a close group of roughly 115 family and friends to 500 on Instagram and my blog site visitor count rose, I would get a direct message from time to time. This is when I realized that my story was helping and as I started to recognize that, it gave me a sense of purpose. Leaving myself feeling that I could and should be doing more for the community

….but what?

If you read my ‘I Am A Confusing Image’ blog post. I ended that by discussing the LGBT Equality Alliance of Chester County. Well, an Instagram post showed up looking for anyone interested in becoming a board member for the LGBT Equality Alliance of Chester County. I applied, interviewed, and was approved to become a board member

I had created some personal goals that I’d like to focus on while I serve on the board and also to better understand how I can help the LGBT+ community, two of them being:

A creation of a support group for transgender/non-binary individuals who are questioning, finding, and wanting to help others through peer discussions and establish connections on the local level.
I want to create and connect with as many individuals as possible in the LGBT+ community on social media, locally, and the national levels. Because while telling my story can help others- I can’t do my best to advocate for others without hearing their story, and hopefully creating friendships. An area in particular I wanted to connect with are those that are parents and spouses because I feel as though most of my background and my journey revolves around that.

Shortly- after joining the board, I discovered the Keystone Conference, a celebration of gender diversity, located in Harrisburg, PA. Although I could only attend for a day, it was the perfect opportunity to connect with the transgender community and begin working towards my goals. This was their 14th year, and last year they had over 750 attendees. The event truly lives up to its tagline:

“A Celebration of Gender Diversity.”

There were various workshops and themed evening events for the community and their significant others. Notably, workshops included a session hosted by founder Claire from Seattle Voice Lab, which offers voice training, and a keynote speech by Gabbi Tuft, a former WWE wrestler.

I was able to connect with several trans women, I heard firsthand stories of where they are in life—some inspiring, some heartbreaking. The biggest takeaway from these conversations was learning what it means to have a chosen family.

It is a term commonly used throughout the LGBT+ community to describe the family you find and the one that finds you, and they are the ones that love you unconditionally and give you unwavering support, that many did not receive from their biological family.

I was familiar with the term but never had to rely on it. I became more familiar with what it looks like and what it means. The impact is even stronger when you have someone in-person telling you versus reading or talking over social media- in person comes with emotion and you can see how how their body reacts as they talked about it.

It does scare me to be looking back at my story. I could be telling a different perspective of a chosen family. I was fortunate because 18 year old me and now 34 year old me- a lot more information and knowledge is available now but it is still a sad reality many still deal with.

Hearing stories of being “disowned” or “not accepted” by family and friends is always upsetting because, as a parent, not loving my children for who they are is unimaginable to me. Yes- my children are still 4 and 1, but when I became a parent I knew I was to love them regardless of what life brings them.

On the contrary, it also brings me such joy to know that others can find family among one another, which highlights the importance of having a supportive community. This experience has deepened my appreciation for the bonds we can form and the resilience we can find in each other. As well as my want to create a support group on the local level for my county.

While- all that is going on my blog site started to slow down for my posting. I’ve been trying to continue with my goal of connecting with others and Instagram proved to be a great resource for that. The negative to that was that my idea for my blog site had to be reconsidered in how I approach it. My blog site has now became a space for my longer more drawn out thoughts and experiences and hopefully will start to be used to let others share their experiences. For places like Instagram it is a great place to add those small thoughts that don’t need to take up an entire blog’s length.

My Instagram account has served as a great way to stay connected with others and to continue to help others. Which has been incredibly helpful for me as well because I’ve come to learn and meet with so many others with a similar stories and some that have been just so inspiring to me.

I struggled to find the positivity of transitioning with a family and a spouse, and to reiterate what I said early- I struggled to find community. So I choose to stay visible and have a public profile. I keep what content I post family friendly and I try to highlight the fact that we are just out here existing. We are out here just trying to be us and enjoy our life. I think people are finding this helpful because my account has now climbed to over 1,000 followers or for a better term, supporters of me and my families journey as we try to normalize the transgender parent/spouse family dynamic. Relationships like ours do work when you put the effort into it, just like all other healthy relationships.

A feature on Instagram I enjoy using is Instagram Live.

"It allows users to broadcast live videos to their followers in real-time, enabling real-time interaction through comments and reactions. It also, allows for you and up to three others to partake in these open forum conversation.

While I enjoy discussing random everyday topics I am trying to focus on what you get on the rest of my page- family friendly content. I am trying to keep it more structured when I use it for supporters to have a place as a resource and to discuss among peers their experiences. I cover a variety of specific topics- such as makeup, parenting, and gender affirming surgeries.

Hosting an Instagram Live does require some vulnerability and confidence because you are opening yoursel up to anyone who comes across it. My hope is that they see an honest and pure conversation on the current topic. Whether someone is looking to educate themselves or seeking support, I want these sessions to provide meaningful insights and a supportive community.

It also ties into my goal of connecting with others and learning how I can use the tools social media provides to connect with others. So- with the understanding of how it works I would love to ultimately enhance our social media presence for the LGBT Equality Alliances- where we can use it to discuss events occurring or to invite speakers and residents (of all backgrounds) to discuss topics that are relevant on the local level but can be used to help wherever our social media presence reaches.

This has been a lot of information but I feel as though everyone is caught up to what I am doing and my intentions moving forward.

So, to recap my goals and what I’ve learned:

In this process, I’ve learned that being visible and sharing our stories is essential. It helps break down stigmas and show that with effort and understanding, we can build healthy, supportive relationships and communities. By staying connected and actively participating, I was asked to do a podcast interview and discuss coming out at work, as well as navigating my family dynamics, on an episode of the “Out of Our Shell” podcast. (Thank you, Olivia and Amber, for being incredible and inspiring members of the community. The message you reiterate about TransJoy is a very real thing and I think is a part of why I have such a desire to want to help others.) I highly recommend checking them out and even consider purchasing an “Out of Our Shell” Apple watchband.

As I continue my plan to advocate for transgender and non-binary individuals, I remain committed to my goal of creating a local support group. I’m excited to share that by the time you read this, the LGBT Equality Alliance will be hosting a ‘Gender Identity Meetup Group’ once a month. I am ecstatic about this starting. While we have our first meeting scheduled, I am curious to gauge where those who attend are at, what they need, and how we can help. Bringing this feedback back to the board members to see what we can improve on and do better.

Platforms like Instagram and my blog are incredible for connecting with others. They helped me realize that I’m not as alone as I thought I was. While these platforms are great resources, I hope to provide a space for open, honest conversations and support for those navigating their own journeys and wanting to share their experiences. I am excited to announce my new plan for a place to tell your story, on my blog site. I invite you to join me in creating a community where you can share your story because our experiences are different, but someone will relate to your story. You can contact me on my Instagram or via the email found on my contact form.

The goals I set I know I’m likely not the first to attempt doing. I just hope to do it differently and done from a different perspective. The goals I’ve set might make me feel like an underdog once more, but I have all the right people by my side to help achieve them.

If I could rise above for my family, I can do it for others too. And together, we’ll not only succeed in lifting everyone we meet along the way but will take each other to new heights.

-Taylor Jade

-Edited by: Ashley <3

Photography by: JOCELYN A. KLINE PHOTOGRAPHY LLC

MENTIONED IN THIS POST:

CLICK TO VIEW:

WATCH Podcast Episode

LGBT EQUALITY ALLIANCE of Chester County

SEATTLE VOICE LABS

Find more OUT OF OUR SHELL here:

OUT OF OUR SHELL IG

OOOS- APPLE WATCHBAND (use code TAYLOR at checkout)

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